Life's Difficult Decisions.

Went to church on Sunday after an absense that spanned a few months. My excuse is a busy summer. It's a poor excuse but, it's all I have.

During my Adult Instruction class I started seriously considering my and Rileigh's baptism. I'm almost finished with AI and I want to have my baptism before I get confirmed. I'm thinking of the congregation here as a joint baptism/confirmation is a lengthy service. I figured I would talk to Pastor Reiners and get a baptism date set in November. It's hasty, but I really want Rileigh to be baptized.

Upon deciding this I had to also think of who we chose as her God Mother. My best friend Jessica. I've tried to schedule Rileigh's baptism a few times and always ran into a conflict or have been unable to contact Jessica about a good date for everyone. This is why it's taken so long.

After church I talked to Stefan about asking another couple to take Rileigh on as their God Daughter. We knew the perfect couple but we haven't known them long and really had to think about our decision.

I've known Jessica my entire life. Our relationship has been odd since we've been friends long distance for the better half of the friendship. Within the last 3 years we've become both very close and very distant. Where I truly value her as a best friend, she's shown very clearly that she does not value me as a best friend. I'm a firm believer in "actions speak louder than words", and her actions are screaming in my face.

Over the last three years I've made countless visits to see her. I also rearrange my plans whenI head her way so that I can stop and make a quick visit. She has not once visited me. This alone makes me doubt that she'd truly try and make it work to get here for Rileigh's baptism.

I was flattered when she asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding and it was the most stressful thing I've gone through in the last 6 months. I wasn't told very important things about the wedding. I won't get into details but there was a huge lack of communication between the two of us and I both called and text messaged several times during each incident for answers to no avail. I relied on another bridesmaid who will be her sister in law for the answers to my questions.

I'm proud of her and I'm happy for her in where she has come in life. But I can honestly say I can't respect her as an individual anymore after this last incident.

She's moving to Washington with her husband for his job. She has talked to me more in the last month about his job prospects than we have talked in years. Her husband was applying for jobs in the town I live in as well as in Washington. I didn't actually know he was applying in Washington. The last text message I recieved from her is that Abe really enjoyed Grand Island and she wanted real estate numbers. I ask a few of my friends for their trusted real estate agents and as I go to tell her about them I see her Facebook status... "Moving to Washington."

Thanks for letting me know. I'm glad I deserved a personal phone call. You'd think 21 years would mean more to you. I honestly hope she at least had the decency to call her family and let them know.

It sound petty and I am happy for her. But it's just the straw the broke the camel's back after a hugely strained friendship.

I thought about this seriously since Sunday and decided I didn't want her as a God Mother for Rileigh. I played the scenario out in my head that Stefan and I both passed away. Where would she go? She'd go to Washington, away from her family to a set of complete strangers. Rileigh would be terrified. I thought of this and my heart ached. If the trend of selfishness with Jessica continues I also saw Rileigh being very unhappy. Feeling like she never fit in. Being outcasted. I can't have my daughter living like that. I know it's worst case scenario-but that's what God Parents are for.

What I thought would be a very difficult decision was actually very easy. It was a no-brainer, actually.
I asked Nate and Melissa to be Rileigh's God Parents tonight--in a true 21st century manner. Hey, we are still in our 20's!!! I text messaged her :) .

I am 100% at peace with this decision. I firmly believe God brought these people into our lives for a reason and this is only a small part of it. We've known Mel and Nate since February--not a very long time at all. But I can see how much they love my daughter. I look at them as a couple and they remind me so much of Stefan and I in the way that they get along. They're both college graduates and have very good jobs. So I know supporting another couple's child wouldn't be an issue for them. They have a son that Rileigh absolutely adores (even if she scares the hell out of him still...) But most importantly, Rileigh knows them. She loves them! Their home is a second home to her and you can tell the minute she walks in the door. She's very comfortable there.

So after much prayer and deliberation we have come to this conclusion and I couldn't be more at peace with it.

I'm still alive!!!

Don't you worry about me! I'm still here! I'm still kicking!

I just get very off track and bored with the blog thing sometimes. I run out of things to talk about. BUT I'm back. With a whole new category of things to talk about.

Homebirths and cloth diapering will be introduced to this blog. Yes Mel, I totally intend to cloth diaper.

I'll update my faithful followers on my family quickly before I get into my little rant about Nebraska! We've moved! We now reside in a lovely little duplex with a huge backyard. We still live in the same town just in a new home. Rileigh loves all the space she has as do Stefan and I. Rileigh will be 2 on Monday the 28th and we have a party planned for her on the 26th at Helgoth's Pumpkin Patch. We're very excited. She's also in phase 1 of potty training. Yay, Rileigh! Stefan and I are currently enrolled in Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University and are still on BabySteps 1 and 2. We're doing well with it though and we love it. It's brought our relationship to an entirely different level. Things are going very well for us.

On to my rant. Nebraska makes it virtually impossible and mostly illegal to have a homebirth. Certified Nurse Midwives (CNM) are not allowed to attend a home birth. It is against the law here in Nebraska. What kind of malarky is that?

This all came about after I read about Ricki Lake's documentary "The Business of Being Born" and decided (with hesitation) to rent and watch it. I was certain I wouldn't change my mind about wanting a totaly medical hospital birth complete with epidural. Boy was I dead wrong. I so desperately want a homebirth now. I was very discouraged to find out that it was nearly impossible in Nebraska.

In January of this year Ken Haar (D) introduced LB481 into Nebraska Legislature. This bill is designed to lift restrictions on CNMs attending homebirths. This, however, does not change the fact that they are not allowed to work independently from hospitals or medical clinics. I'm not sure if there is a bill for this introduced yet or not. Although I'm sure many hospitals will threaten CNMs their positions when LB481 passes and they want to go out and do homebirths. Which makes me quite annoyed. Moving on.

I've recently joined the website Nebraska Midwives and plan on getting involved on getting this bill passed so that I can legally give birth at home when that time comes.

You can read more about LB481 on the Nebraska Legislature website.

I've also been researching heavily on cloth diapering child number 2 when the time comes. Since Rileigh will be potty trained soon I won't be putting money towards a cloth diaper "stash" for her. Stefan was not on board with this at all in the beginning but I sat him down and showed him some "Bumgenius 3.0" one size diapers and told him how they worked. They're just like disposables now only cheaper and cuter. I also showed him The GoodMama brand of clothe diaper which comes in a variety of patterns and is apparently the "Eddie Bauer" of clothe diapers. These are the two brands I am most interested in when it comes to cloth diapers and they are also the two brands I've heard the best reviews on which is very encouraging.

I've told a few family and friends that I'm interested in clothe diapers for baby number 2 and was met with much resistance. I'm not sure if they think we're going old school with pre-folds and pins or what, but cloth diapers have come such a long way since then! For those who do use pre-folds (they are still around) there is a new invention called the "Snappi" invented by a father! They're safer than a pin and hold more securely. My daycare provider told me she refused to support me with cloth diapers and would ask me to purchase disposables. I was actually quite surprised by this. I wasn't prepared for a debate and actually new nothing about cloth diapers at the time and just shrugged her off. I'm hoping to not need her in the near future.

I now know how revolutionary cloth diapers now are! They're no different than disposables! They're better on the environment, your pocket book, your baby's bum and they're cute as can be!

More to come about both of these topics as I research more and get to experience them both! Stay tuned!

A Few More Highlights.

I've done a little playing around with the focusing on my camera. I hope to take a few more pictures before we go to Seattle on Thursday! It's been a very busy time and very rainy. It's been hard to get out and about! Here are some old ones that I really enjoy.


Guacamole Salad a la Ina Garten!

I love avacados. I love Guacamole. I love Ina Garten. So when she featured this salad on her show the other morning (the show that I DVR) I was speechless. We're going to a friends for a BBQ tonight and I thought I'd bring this along.

I made two substitutes and one addition. I forgot a yellow pepper so I used green and I I left out the black beans because I don't like them, lol. I added cilantro to the sauce to keep it fresh. It turned out FANTASTIC.

Here's Ina's recipe.

Guacamole Salad

1 pint grape tomatoes, halved
1 yellow bell pepper, seeded and 1/2-inch diced
1 (15 ounce) can black beans, rinsed and drained
1/2 cup small diced red onion
2 tablespoons minced jalapeno peppers, seeded (2 peppers)
1/2 teaspoon freshly grated lime zest
1/4 cup freshly squeezed lime juice (2 limes)
1/4 cup olive oil
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon minced garlic
1/4 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper
2 ripe Hass avocadoes, seeded, peeled, and 1/2-inch diced
1Place the tomatoes, yellow pepper, black beans, red onion, jalapeƱo peppers, and lime zest in a large bowl.
2Whisk together the lime juice, olive oil, salt, black pepper, garlic, and cayenne pepper and pour over the vegetables.
3Toss well.
4Just before you're ready to serve the salad, fold the avocados into the salad.
5Check the seasoning and serve at room temperature. *I serve it chilled*

Memorial Day Weekend and "Everyone's a Photographer!"

It's true, it does seem like everyone is a professional photographer these days. Especially with the wonderful new technology! I wish I had a DSLR... I'm practically salivating for one, haha.

Memorial Day weekend was pretty uneventful. I am sick with a sinus infection that's taking over my entire life. But we still tried to make the most of the weekend. We went to a barbecue with some new friends and I stood back and took about a million pictures (or so it seems). It was relaxing and fun, but I paid for it the next day. I was so exhausted. Thank goodness for Stefan, he let me sleep until 2, he knew I wasn't feeling well.
Here are some pictures that I found to be quite good from my weekend :) Enjoy!

Creative Photography

I like to toy around with my camera. It's a more advanced point and shoot and it's really good for how much I paid for it.

I also like to think I've got some knack for photography. A friend from work seems to think the same! She wants me to take some photos of her son at the park and adit them for her. I don't do a lot of editing... But I'm wanting to take some classes on it.
I feel like I do better when I child is in a relaxed or carefree state. You get much better emotion and a much stronger feel for the person in the photgraph. I'm someone who believed every picture has and should tell it's own story. That's my photography method, I search for the story.

Here are some pics that seem to be pretty popular! Tell me what you think!

Rileigh Time!

I don't want Rileigh to ever be able to say that I was never around or that I made her feel unimportant. As a result, I probably overcompensate. I just know what I want to be as a Mother and I hope I can be that for her.

I try to do special activities for her whenever I can. Stefan and I were in the middle of making her an "economy" sandbox but realized the store was out of the sand we wanted. So in a pinch, I turned it into a water box. Rileigh loves it. She could play outside with it all day. We picked up a small tote, one of the ones that fits under beds, and filled it with water and water appropriate toys and put it on the porch. It was such a success that I'll have to keep it a waterbox and get a new tote for the sand!

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