Life's Difficult Decisions.

Went to church on Sunday after an absense that spanned a few months. My excuse is a busy summer. It's a poor excuse but, it's all I have.

During my Adult Instruction class I started seriously considering my and Rileigh's baptism. I'm almost finished with AI and I want to have my baptism before I get confirmed. I'm thinking of the congregation here as a joint baptism/confirmation is a lengthy service. I figured I would talk to Pastor Reiners and get a baptism date set in November. It's hasty, but I really want Rileigh to be baptized.

Upon deciding this I had to also think of who we chose as her God Mother. My best friend Jessica. I've tried to schedule Rileigh's baptism a few times and always ran into a conflict or have been unable to contact Jessica about a good date for everyone. This is why it's taken so long.

After church I talked to Stefan about asking another couple to take Rileigh on as their God Daughter. We knew the perfect couple but we haven't known them long and really had to think about our decision.

I've known Jessica my entire life. Our relationship has been odd since we've been friends long distance for the better half of the friendship. Within the last 3 years we've become both very close and very distant. Where I truly value her as a best friend, she's shown very clearly that she does not value me as a best friend. I'm a firm believer in "actions speak louder than words", and her actions are screaming in my face.

Over the last three years I've made countless visits to see her. I also rearrange my plans whenI head her way so that I can stop and make a quick visit. She has not once visited me. This alone makes me doubt that she'd truly try and make it work to get here for Rileigh's baptism.

I was flattered when she asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding and it was the most stressful thing I've gone through in the last 6 months. I wasn't told very important things about the wedding. I won't get into details but there was a huge lack of communication between the two of us and I both called and text messaged several times during each incident for answers to no avail. I relied on another bridesmaid who will be her sister in law for the answers to my questions.

I'm proud of her and I'm happy for her in where she has come in life. But I can honestly say I can't respect her as an individual anymore after this last incident.

She's moving to Washington with her husband for his job. She has talked to me more in the last month about his job prospects than we have talked in years. Her husband was applying for jobs in the town I live in as well as in Washington. I didn't actually know he was applying in Washington. The last text message I recieved from her is that Abe really enjoyed Grand Island and she wanted real estate numbers. I ask a few of my friends for their trusted real estate agents and as I go to tell her about them I see her Facebook status... "Moving to Washington."

Thanks for letting me know. I'm glad I deserved a personal phone call. You'd think 21 years would mean more to you. I honestly hope she at least had the decency to call her family and let them know.

It sound petty and I am happy for her. But it's just the straw the broke the camel's back after a hugely strained friendship.

I thought about this seriously since Sunday and decided I didn't want her as a God Mother for Rileigh. I played the scenario out in my head that Stefan and I both passed away. Where would she go? She'd go to Washington, away from her family to a set of complete strangers. Rileigh would be terrified. I thought of this and my heart ached. If the trend of selfishness with Jessica continues I also saw Rileigh being very unhappy. Feeling like she never fit in. Being outcasted. I can't have my daughter living like that. I know it's worst case scenario-but that's what God Parents are for.

What I thought would be a very difficult decision was actually very easy. It was a no-brainer, actually.
I asked Nate and Melissa to be Rileigh's God Parents tonight--in a true 21st century manner. Hey, we are still in our 20's!!! I text messaged her :) .

I am 100% at peace with this decision. I firmly believe God brought these people into our lives for a reason and this is only a small part of it. We've known Mel and Nate since February--not a very long time at all. But I can see how much they love my daughter. I look at them as a couple and they remind me so much of Stefan and I in the way that they get along. They're both college graduates and have very good jobs. So I know supporting another couple's child wouldn't be an issue for them. They have a son that Rileigh absolutely adores (even if she scares the hell out of him still...) But most importantly, Rileigh knows them. She loves them! Their home is a second home to her and you can tell the minute she walks in the door. She's very comfortable there.

So after much prayer and deliberation we have come to this conclusion and I couldn't be more at peace with it.