The Quest of Normality.

I am an Adult Child of an Alcoholic. I'm also an Adult Child of an Adult Child.

I started seeing a counselor a few months ago. I dispelled the notion of being an Adult Child in college. I spoke with a counselor a few times and he also described me as an AC. I read a book about it and really got into it. I was excited to finally have a means to an end for the ways I was feeling until I shared the good news with my mother. She told me all that counselor was trying to do was to blame my parents for all the wrong in my life and that I needed to start accepting the blame for my actions. So, I did and I turned off the light at the end of my tunnel.

Until a few months ago. My counselor is fantastic. I've never been happier. I'm reading a book all about ACOA and honestly, I think I'm doing really well with all of it.

One of the "Laundry List" items of ACOA is that we don't know what normal is. We watch what other people do and get our "normal" from that. Essentially comparing our lives with everyone else's. Because we did not have a normal functional family, we could never have possibly learned what is common and what is not.

I've never really felt like I've done that. Until this weeks session. We were talking about bumping into people we don't like. I know a few people that Stefan doesn't care for. I suddenly became very worried that these particular people share common interests with me. For instance, our kids enjoy the same playground. So I started looking for alternate playgrounds to play at (which was a total bust, by the way). I shared this with my counselor who told me I was being irrational. That I couldn't possibly avoid every single place I might bump into these people.

I was so worried that we'd bump into these people at the park or the gym or the grocery store and it'd be one big awkward (or possibly horrible) moment that I tried to avoid that entirely. Because, irrationally, I was thinking that Stefan would think I was setting him up or that I knew these people would be there and that is why I wanted to go there in the first place.

It was a very humbling session. So, I guess this is me, an Adult Child of Alcoholic, on my quest of normality.