Writer's Workshop: Prayer requests anyone?

The Prompt: Somebody I'm praying for...

I'll begin blogging on my experiences of baptism and adult instruction for the Lutheran Church just as soon as they start. Which is about... 3 days from now and I'm nervous as I've ever been for anything.

I've launched my family back into the Church. We're a young family and Stefan was baptized and confirmed Lutheran and I was never baptized at all. But I was always very active in my church in high school. I was just always afraid to take that leap into baptism. It's hard to fully explain why. My mother wasn't a church-goer and nobody else in my family was interested. For the most part I was alone and going through a baptism alone would frighten anyone. But that isn't the entire explanation for my fear.

I fully believe it's a sign from God that this was The Prompt this week and I've been asking for a sign for a few days now.

My life is going through some pretty windy storms right now. I've recently discovered for myself that friends and family sometimes aren't enough. I've gotten into therapy and renewed my faith in Jesus Christ. So as selfish as this may sound... I'm praying for myself, because I'm terrified.

I've had this unexplainable feeling the last two days or so. This dire need to drop to my knees and pray. I've NEVER felt anything like this in my life. The feeling that I just need to bow my head and fold my hands and pray. Pray for a sign, pray for an answer, pray for a clearer picture of what God is trying to show me or for what he's trying to tell me. It's an entirely alienable feeling to me, so much so that I almost feel strange actually praying.

I can not honestly say I've always been a believer. I went through a few years where God was not in my life. I was a lost soul and severely needed guidance. So while I'm praying for myself, I'm going to pray for others like me. Those who are afraid to take the leap into religion, a leap into faith. Those who have gotten lost or misguided on their path to Our Lord. I'm going to pray that one day, it strikes them about as hard as it struck me--to just drop down on their knees, bow their heads, fold their hands and pray.

So Lord,

I know you know in my heart of hearts and this soul of mine how lost I've been without you. I know you've seen my struggles and I've felt you help me through the worst of them. I'm scared I feel a sense of abandonment. I feel with my latest struggles I'm not getting the help I once recieved. I've taken this as a sign, directly from you, to come back into your arms. I'm taking this as a sign that you'll guide me on the path you've chosen for me. I'm begging you to remain by my side as I take this huge leap into your arms that I should've taken years ago. I pray that through your word and with your help I will find happiness in my life. I pray that with your help I will one day feel complete. Lord, please take my hand and guide me through the processes of the Lutheran Church so that I am better able to serve you. Please help me succeed in my therapy and guide me and my family through this weak point in my relationship with Stefan. Please help us become a stronger unit and a better model for our daughter.

Amen.


I didn't tell you this previously because I thought it'd ruin the affect :-P... That is the first true prayer ever to go from these lips to Our Lord.